Pray for:
Five things that you are thankful for beginning with the focus letter
Five people whose first or last name begins with the focus letter
A place that begins with the focus letter
A characteristic beginning with the focus letter you would like to see grow in you and your family
Dear Lord - open my ears to hear and grant me the strength to obey
Psalms 7
I take refuge in God. My enemies pursue me. Often my thoughts are my enemies. My worries are my enemies relentlessly swirling in my head. I hear what I think is God's voice, yet I hesitate. I do not want to make waves. I do not want to make someone mad at me by telling them that I think something they did was not right. I am too weak to be bold and my thoughts pursue me. I need to take refuge in God, but does that mean hiding? I don't think so this time. I think it means take refuge in Him while I step out and speak.
Why is my voice hidden? Why am I afraid to speak, to have my own opinions and thoughts? I don't know, perhaps I never will. Perhaps it is just my personality but I cannot hide behind my personality. I must take refuge in God and trust that He will take care of me when I obey the commands that I find difficult. Sometimes I am afraid that I am in the wrong. I do not want to speak because I do not want to find out that I am incorrect. I want to hang on to my rightness more than my righteousness. But God knows if I am right or wrong anyway. I just need to obey and if I am right, He will protect me.
God also knows what is right and wrong and He knows when His righteousness has been violated. He searches the hearts and minds of people and He can correct them. I don't need to do His job for Him, but I do need to speak if He has put it on my heart. God judges the people, not me, but I am in charge of at least giving a warning (Ezekiel 3:16-21). If I do not give the warning, I will be held accountable for not doing it. That is frightening for a big coward like me. Also, there is the very challenging verse about being a coward. It groups cowardice in a category along with murderers (Rev 21:8). I need to step out and follow the leading of Christ.
I need to not be afraid because I am taking refuge in God and He is my shield. He will protect me from the anger of another or from disagreement. He saves the upright in heart. He will save me as long as I am righteous. Therefore, I must make sure I am righteous even when talking to someone about a disagreement or about some perceived wrong. I must be pure in heart and make sure that I have no evil intent at all, no matter what, because evil will come back to me. If I dig a pit, I will fall into it. It is that old saying, "what goes around, comes around."
And in all these struggles, I am still to rejoice in the Lord. I am to rejoice always, because God does not change. I can be gentle in conflict and confrontation because God is near. He is the one who will take care of everything. (Philippians 4:4-7) "Vengeance is mine saith the Lord" (Romans 12:17-21). Vengeance is not Lillian's. I have no right to take revenge. My role in any situation is to be gentle, and to warn, or at least to talk it out. To put it out there and let God do His work. I do not need to force anything. That would not be effective or righteous.
The Lord is near. He will take care of it in His time and in His way. Therefore, I will not be anxious. I will pray instead. I will present my requests to God, with thanksgiving that I am even alive to have problems and conflicts, and I will enjoy His peace. I will give thanks to Him because He is righteous. None of the rest of us are. We are all just travelers trying to get somewhere. Even the best of us are just fellow beggars trying to point others to the feast we have found. So I will rejoice, and I will give thanks, and I will give praise. And I, I will not be afraid anymore.
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