Daily Devotional - 9/17

Focus Letter - R

Pray for:
Five things that you are grateful for beginning with the focus letter
Five people whose first or last name begins with the focus letter
A place that begins with the focus letter
A characteristic to grow in that begins with the focus letter

Dear Lord - Help me to hear Your voice and grant me the strength to obey.

Psalms 17

"Keep me as the apple of your eye" (vs. 8)

I would like to be the apple of someone's eye. This is a strange saying to me but I understand it slightly when I watch my children. Sometimes when they are oblivious to me, I just like to watch them in amazement. Did they really come from me? These little human beings with separate dreams and thoughts that I cannot access. They are so special to me. They are the apple of my eye.

It is almost unbelievable to me that this type of relationship is available from God. That He would even consider holding me as the apple of His eye; that I might even be right now in that special position. It is hard to understand this when I have always struggled to feel this type of love from others. Perhaps my grandmother held me as the apple of her eye. She was very special but she is long gone now.

But love is hard for me to feel. I know God has kept me this far. I know He has answered silly little prayers for me along the way; the kind a friend would do for a friend. So sometimes I think, yes, He must think I am special. He must truly like me.

I do not know why it is so hard for some of us to feel love, but it is. I understand that completely. I know my parents loved me, but I did not really feel it. I know my husband loves me, but I do not often feel it. When we are like this, there must be some emotional damage somewhere deep down that is hindering the registration of love. I know I must dig deep to deal with whatever is holding this back.

I will never fully experience what God wants for me as long as I cannot move beyond an intellectual knowledge of His love. It is Christ's love that compels us (II Cor 5:14-15). We love because He loved us first (I John 4:19-21). God is love (I John 4:7-12). "And now these three remain: faith hope and love. But the greatest of these is love (I Cor 13:13)". The greatest commandment is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. The second is like it, love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt 22:36-40). Everything depends on these two commandments. Everything depends on love. Therefore, I must understand love. I must allow myself to feel love; to love and to be loved in return. I want this but it seems outside my grasp. I have tried so long to truly feel.

"You still the hunger of those you cherish" (vs. 14b)

God will still my hunger for this love and caring. God will provide for me in this way when the time is right; when I can receive it. I am loved whether I feel it or not. I will call on God for this, and He will answer me. He will listen to me and show me the wonder of His great love. This too can be changed by God. Someday I will feel that I am loved as surely as I know it.

God does watch me like I watch my little children. They do not understand the depth of my love just as I do not understand the depth of God's love. Someday they may, when they grow up. Someday, as well, I may grow up spiritually and understand the depth of God's love better.

Until then, I will be satisfied with what I do have and I will strive to grow in what I do not. And I - in righteousness, will see God's face. I will be satisfied with seeing His likeness. I will be satisfied with Him (vs 15) and I will never give up.

QFT

1. Do you feel special to God? Why or why not?

2. Is it easy or difficult for you to feel loved? What do you think has contributed to or hindered your ability to give and receive love?

3. On a scale of 1 -10, how would you rate yourself on the first and second greatest commandments? Why?

4. What are your strengths and weaknesses in the area of loving God and loving others?