Daily Devotional - 9/1/15 (11/1/09)

Prayer Focus - Strangers


Day 4
Pray for:
One person you admire or look up to
One person you met/meet today
One person that is in the entertainment industry
One person in politics


Pray about:
Their physical needs
Their mental needs
Their emotional needs
Their spiritual needs


Dear Lord - Please open my ears to hear and grant me the strength to obey.



Psalms 61

This devotional was originally written in November of 2009.  I have left it as I wrote it then.  The whole year of 2009 was extremely difficult for my family and I.  In January of 2009, my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer which we eventually learned, had spread to his liver.  I struggled to hold our family together through the two surgeries and two rounds of chemotherapy that would consume the entire year.  Writing these devotionals became a therapeutic outlet for me as I re-evaluated my relationship with God and clung to Him moment by moment.  We made it through that year and many more after it.  We have dealt with a reoccurrence of cancer last year and keep struggling on.  God has always come through.  Sometimes I do not see how the victory will come but it does come anyway.  God has always been faithful and no matter what happens, I believe that He has used everything I have gone through to strengthen my faith, my family, and myself.  He truly is the rock that is higher than I.


"Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to You, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in Your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of Your wings. For You have heard my vows, O God; You have given me the heritage of those who fear Your name. Increase the days of the king's life, his years for many generations. May he be enthroned in God's presence forever; appoint Your love and faithfulness to protect him. Then will I ever sing praise to Your name and fulfill my vows day after day." ( Psalms 61)


"Listen to my prayer Lord, because I am growing weaker."   Haven't we all been there?   We fight and fight and keep going and keep going and then it just feels like there is nothing left. There is a limit to us and what we can do. Praise God, however, there is no limit to Him. When life is overwhelming, we need to let Him lead us to that rock that we can climb up on and be safe from the waves that are battering us. He is our refuge.

I have to confess, I have been battered lately. I have been struggling with life. My Joelle has been sick since off and on since October 2 with her asthma and a cold/flu. Just when I think she is getting better, she gets worse again. I have been sick as well for about two weeks and then last night, my middle daughter develops a 102 fever. This would usually be not that big of a deal, but since she was exposed to H1N1 by at least two classmates, I was a bit stressed. I took both girls to the urgent care today and was told not to worry too much about Lorelei, and Joelle got a breathing treatment and some stronger medicine to try and get her asthma under control. Now tomorrow, my husband is supposed to start his second round of chemo and I am trying desperately to get my grades done in the midst of all this. I have missed so much work already and am debating if taking tomorrow off would be a good thing or not. My house is an utter disaster area and I am so tired. So these are my waves. This is what is battering me. Now I need to face them and then I need to get up and climb up on the rock that is higher than I.

I do long to dwell in God's tent. I want some shelter. I am tired of doing it all and being responsible for everything. God knows my vows. He has given me the heritage of those who fear His name. I am in good company. This is all just temporary and God has it all under control. I just need to climb out of the water I am sinking in and rest in Christ. Our health will get better and we will move on. I will get my grades done. I always do somehow or other. And God's love and faithfulness surround me and protects me. I will praise God. I will be positive in spite all of this. I will. I will fulfill my vows.



Prayer for the Day



Dear Lord,


Lift us to the rock that is higher than we are. We need You as our refuge. This world is too hard for us alone. We are fading away. Help us to run to You. Help us to get out of the rough water that surrounds us and lift up our arms to You, our Father and our Protector. We have made vows to You and we need You to help us fulfill them. You are able. We search for Your love and faithfulness. We know they are there. We look for You. We long for You. Hear our cry O Lord for without You, we are lost.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen



QFT


1. How is my prayer life?  Am I crying out to God?  Do I really pour out my heart to Him or do I just recite the same things over and over?  How can I revitalize my prayer life?

2. Am I growing faint of working on something or dealing with some issue in my life? What are the waves that are battering me? Am I bringing them to God daily in prayer?

3. Is God my refuge?  If He isn't, what do I take refuge in when I am struggling?  How can I run to God and take refuge in Him? How can I do this more?

4. Do I recognize God's love and faithfulness? How can these qualities of God protect me? How can I be more aware of them in my life?

5. Am I praising God? Am I fulfilling my vows? Which am I better at doing, praising God, or fulfilling my vows?  Why?  How can I grow in these two areas?

Daily Devotional - 8/24/15 (10/24/09)

Prayer Focus - Enemies


Day 3
Pray for:
One person who was mean to you when you were a child
One person who has given you a lot of trouble recently
One person from your family (immediate or extended) that has given you trouble at some point in time

Pray about:
Their physical needs
Their mental needs
Their emotional needs
Their spiritual needs
Your ability to offer complete forgiveness from your heart
Your ability to let go of the hurts and move on whether they will ever apologize or not


Dear Lord - Please open my ears to hear and grant me the strength to obey.



Psalms 54

This post was originally written in 2009.  I have left it much as it was.  My daughter is now a healthy 11 year old and her asthma rarely bothers her.  In 2009, my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer which had spread to his liver.  He had two surgeries and two rounds of chemotherapy.  He was cancer free for four years and then had a reoccurrence in 2014.  This was followed by another surgery and more chemotherapy [see Daily Devotional - 8/22/10 (9/22/09) if you are interested in learning more about his cancer].  Thankfully, he has been cancer free for a year now.  My schedule is still very hectic and long, yet God always provides what I need to take care of all of my responsibilities.  If you are interested in reading the background information which prompted me to start these devotionals in 2009, please see ("Background Information" - published 8/31/09.)



"Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me....I will sacrifice a freewill offering to You; I will praise Your name, O Lord, for it is good. For He has delivered me from all my troubles, and my eyes have looked in triumph on my foes." ( vs. 4, 6-7)


God is my help. I have to repeat this to myself daily, hourly, and moment by moment. God is my help. He is the one who sustains me. I can not do this on my own.  There is so much to be done daily.  If I look at my life, I am overwhelmed; if I look at God, I can make it through.  God does supply my daily needs.  However, I must learn to separate the urgent from the important. I must learn to prioritize. I can not do everything and so I must do the most important.  Sometimes I do not even know what that is.  Therefore, I must learn to rely more and more on the Lord who sustains me.

I am learning to look at the worst that could happen and then look at it through God's eyes.  Heaven knows, I am getting quite a bit of practice.  For example, if my daughter should get sick with H1N1, which happens to be something on my mind right now, what would be the worst that could happen? Having asthma, she could get very sick. She could even die. I have had to think of this before. I have thought of this every time I have had to take her to the hospital because she can't breathe.  So if the worst would happen to my child, I have to realize, she would be in heaven. She would be happy and at peace forever. Since she is only five, she would be with God and would be spared all the heart ache that we face living on earth. I would be heartbroken but at least I would know that she was safe and no longer had to suffer. I would not have to worry about whether or not she would grow up to know God. She would be there waiting for me.  Sometimes remembering this helps me to face the uncertainty of each day.  I can make it through the worst, day by day, holding on to God's hand and striving to look at life through an eternal perspective.  And so it is with each problem I face.  I try to keep this focus.  I look at the worst that could happen and then I take that to God, for I do know that He is good.  He has kept me safe this far.

So I will sacrifice a freewill offering to God in gratitude for sustaining me. I will freely come and bring Him whatever I have to offer. Sometimes it is not much but I will bring it.  Like the poor widow that only dropped a few coins in the offering, I will give what I can, what I have ( Luke 21:1-4 ).  God will not have to force me to follow, or to come, or to sacrifice. I am so grateful that I am even allowed to participate in this life.   I would have nothing without God and I look forward to seeing how He will deliver me from all of my present troubles.  He has amazed me up until now with how He has gotten me out of my past troubles. I am certain that I will look in triumph on my foes someday. And what a great day that will be!



Prayer for the Day



Dear Lord,


We look forward to the day that we will be able to look with triumph on our foes. You have delivered us so far and You will continue to deliver us. You are good, always good and we praise You. You are our help. You do sustain us. You get us up and put us to bed. You keep our hearts beating and our lungs pulling in oxygen. You are great and You deserve all the freewill offerings I can bring. Help us to not be like horses or mules that have to be pulled along. Help us to come willingly and eagerly to serve You. Forgive us in our failures to please You. We need You and praise You for Your mercy. Continue to walk with us and carry us when we are weak. We worship You.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen



QFT


1. How often do I think about God actually being with me in each present moment? Do I turn to Him for help in the moment or do I forget He is there?

2. Am I allowing God to prioritize my day and my time? Do I let Him get involved with the mundane areas of my life like house work or do I feel that God is only interested in the "big issues"?

3. What am I worrying about?  What is the worst thing that could happen in that situation?  How can I see this from an eternal perspective?  Does this help me?  Why or why not?

4. How can I bring a freewill offering to God? Is my service and worship a joy or burden to me? What can I change to improve my attitude of joy when I am serving or worshiping God?

5. What are the foes in my life? What am I doing to conquer them? How will I feel when I am delivered and can look at them in triumph?

Daily Devotional - 8/22/10 (9/22/09)

This is the post from the day after my husband's surgery last year.  I have left it as it was.  He is now doing better and appears to be cancer free.


Focus Letter - V



Pray for:
Five things that you are grateful for beginning with the focus letter
Five people whose first or last name begins with the focus letter
A place that begins with the focus letter
A characteristic to grow in that begins with the focus letter


Dear Lord - Help me to hear your voice today, all day, and grant me the strength to obey.



My husband made it through surgery and is recovering. They removed the lower right lobe of his liver which had confirmed cancer and, unfortunately, also found another tumor on the left side. This was destroyed by laser. There are still two small unknown masses in the upper right lobe as well. As a result of this, more chemotherapy is recommended. We were sad about the news but are faithful yet. Thank you for all your prayers and support.



Psalms 22



As I sat at my computer, after a long day at the hospital and after receiving the bad news about the spread of the cancer, I felt a bit numb. On opening the Bible to review the psalm for this post, I had to smile. How fitting for this to be the psalm today. The opening words spoke to me.



"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent." (vs. 1-2)


How I have felt this the past year. At every turn, we have received bad news. My husband was diagnosed with cancer in February but we were confident that it would be contained in the colon. After all, he was only 49. My mother had had colon cancer at 61 and hers had been contained; it had not spread although it was about the same size of a tumor. We went into surgery confident. The surgeon told us after the surgery that it did appear to be contained within the colon, but of course, he could not know for sure until the lab work. How shocked we were to receive the call about a week later to find out that it was not contained and that it was in the lymph nodes.


"My God, my God..." I thought.


"Well, at least it was only in two of the 30 lymph nodes they looked at," I said to my mother-in-law who was devastated by the news. Surely it hadn't spread very far. There was that spot on his liver that the doctors had noted before his original surgery. But they had not been worried about it. The doctor had felt that it was probably not cancer. I was confident my husband would do his chemotherapy and be fine.


He went in for a liver test to confirm that the spot was just a benign occurrence, a hemangioma, and we waited, not worried. The results came back. A biopsy was needed. The tumor was not a hemangioma. I remember receiving the call. It was a beautiful day and I was playing Candyland with my daughters. The sun streamed in from the window, creating a peaceful, happy glow in the room. We were laughing.


My husband was out running an errand when the phone call came in. "Mrs. Jacobs, the tumor is cancerous," the doctor said over the phone.


Everything stopped and again in my mind, "my God, my God..."


Six rounds of chemo; so difficult. The embolism to block off the cancerous part of his liver. The surgery prep, all in the hopes that this would soon will be over; that life would soon return to normal. Then yesterday, the surgery, to remove the right lobe of his liver; so that he would be cancer free. At pre-op, the doctor mentioned that if they find something in the left lobe, they would burn it with a laser. I paused.


"But there isn't supposed to be anything in the left lobe," I said.


"Well sometimes it is hidden from the MRI. We are going to check everything out. We will take good care of him."


"Okay," I said, thinking with less confidence now that there would be nothing in the left liver. This warning of his was all precautionary. The surgery was going to be the end of this. Six weeks recovery and then life would go on. It would be this way. I had decided.


At 12 noon, the doctor came out and I approached, eager to hear the good news. "We removed the right lobe, but there was a half an inch tumor deep in the left lobe as well."


"What?"


"The left lobe, a tumor. We destroyed it with the laser but there are still small unknown spots visible on the ultrasound as well. They are too small to know what they are. We recommend more chemotherapy."


"More?" I said sadly.


"Yes, more. Cancer is like a dandelion which spreads its seeds when blown. We don't know, can't know now. Everything else in the abdomen looks clear but the chemo - it is necessary." The doctor smiled at me in a serious, sad way. My heart sank. The chemo... the walking death. It is difficult to explain life during chemo. Lets just say, it is hard.


"My God, my God..." again I begin to think. Why? Why, at every turn, has the road to quick recovery been blocked? What is it we must learn, my husband and I?



And then I read on in Psalms 22, the psalm that goes on to prophecy Jesus' suffering on the cross.



"Yet You are enthroned as the Holy One; You are the praise of Israel. In You our fathers put their trust; they trusted and You delivered them. They cried to You and were saved; in You they trusted and were not disappointed" (vs. 4-5)



It is painful. This is painful. It is not what I wanted. But it is what God has given me. He has given me this, and He has given me Himself to fall back on. I am not alone. I am a part of His plan. This morning, in the calm of the cool, early morning air blowing in through the window, I remember God. I remember to give thanks. I am thankful my husband is still alive. I am thankful that they removed or killed all known cancer in his body. I am thankful he is as alert and well as he is after surgery. I am thankful for the 12 years and the three daughters that I have had with him. I am thankful for all the ways we have grown to be better people through all of this. I am thankful for all the ways that we will grow before this is over.


God has given me the assurance that He will be with me through these difficult times. He will never leave me or forsake me (Joshua 31:6). He has given me a Bible full of good promises, all of which have been given to me so that I will have peace. As He says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)"


He will deliver me. He will not disappoint me in the end. In the short term, I may have sorrow. I do have sorrow. But God is not in this for the short term. He is the God of eternity. In the light of eternity, I am not let down. Things may not happen as I have planned. It hasn't happened as I had planned, but I have been delivered so far. My husband has also been delivered so far. He is still here. We are still living in faith, and we are better people for all of this.


God is still with me, just as He was with Jesus as He went to the cross; surely not what Jesus had wanted but it was what needed to happen. Jesus suffered immensely, more than any of us ever will, and yet He returned to God and His sovereignty. I must remember His words at Gethsemane, " Not my will, but Yours be done." At times, we may be momentarily disappointed, but in the long run we are never. In the long term, the victory is always ours. In Christ we have the victory. God did not forget Jesus. He did not disappoint Him. There were three dark days and then Jesus arose and brought salvation to all of us. In the same way, God will not forget me either.



"You who fear the Lord, praise Him!...For He has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; He has not hidden His face from him but has listened to his cry for help." (vs. 23-24)


There is a reason for all of this. I am not forgotten and I will praise Him yet.




Prayer for the Day


Dear Lord,

We praise You for the life You give us.  It is Yours to give and take away.  We pray for acceptance and courage in the face of whatever is on the path You have set out for us.  Help us to live lives that are acceptable to You no matter what happens.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen



QFT


1. When have I felt forsaken? Why? How did I deal with it?

2. What has God given me to deal with presently in my life? How am I dealing with it? Am I turning to God, or away from Him because of it?

3. When life does not go as I have planned, how do I react? How can I react in a more trusting manner?
4. What reasons can I see behind some of the greatest crises that have occurred in my life?

5.  What support systems do I have to help me in difficult times? What helps me to feel peace in my struggles?  What verses do I turn to?

Daily Devotional - 8/21/10 (9/21/09)

I wrote this post 11 months ago on the day my husband went into surgery on his liver.  I have left it as it was and added a small commentary at the end about how he is doing now.


Focus Letter - U



Pray for:
Five things you are grateful for that begin with the focus letter
Five people whose first or last name begins with the focus letter
A place that begins with the focus letter
A characteristic that begins with the focus letter



Dear Lord- open my ears to hear, my eyes to see, and my heart to feel. Grant me the strength to obey.


Today is my husband's surgery. We would appreciate your prayers.



Psalms 21


9/21/09


"For the king trusts in the Lord; through the unfailing love of the Most High he will not be shaken" (vs. 7)



How great are the victories the Lord gives. As we go into surgery today, I am remembering the greatness of the Lord. I will rejoice that I have His strength to support me and that I can have joy in His victories whatever they may be. God does not withhold the requests of my lips and He knows the desires of my heart. He gives life. I can do nothing to add or subtract from my life, save for eating and living healthy, which is important. But worrying will do nothing. Worrying will not add a moment to my life and will dissipate the energy that I need to be strong.


Regardless what happens today, I will cling to Gods eternal blessing and be glad in the Lord. He is not changing and He is here with me today. God's love is unfailing; the only thing that is secure and eternal. I will not be shaken today. I will be there for my husband, my in laws, and my children. I will be their strength because God is mine. God will lay hold of my enemies and crush them. God can crush the cancer and even if He chooses not to, I will still trust in Him.


God will be exalted. In my life, God will be exalted. Amen.



8/21/10

"O Lord, the king rejoices in Your strength.  How great is his joy in the victories You give!  You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips." (vs. 1-2)

My husband stopped his chemotherapy right before Christmas last year.  As of his first CAT scan, done in February, the doctors feel he is doing well and there is no obvious sign of cancer.  We are gratefully getting back to life, as normal as it can be, in the shadow of cancer.  God has been good and His victories are great.  He is giving us what we need each day and we have learned to be at peace in a deeper way through it all.  We are also grateful for all the support and prayers of our friends.  His next CAT scan will be in October so I will update you at that time about any further developments.



Prayer for the Day

Dear Lord,

You are great.  We are so grateful for the victories that You give and we are learning to wait on You.  Help us to do this more and more.  We praise You for the prayers that You answer with yes and also those that are no or wait.  We are just grateful to know You.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen


QFT


1. What enemies am I facing in my life today? How could the Lord conquer them?

2. When is it hardest for me to trust in God? Why?

3. What victories has God given me in the past? How has God blessed me?

4. How can God be exalted in my life, even in the difficult times? What can I do differently to ensure that this will happen?

5.  What blessings do I have in my life that I can cling to during the difficult times?  Why are these things so important to me and what would my life be like without them? How can I focus on them more and show my gratitude in a deeper way?

Daily Devotional - 9/22

Focus Letter - V

Pray for:
Five things that you are grateful for beginning with the focus letter
Five people whose first or last name begins with the focus letter
A place that begins with the focus letter
A characteristic to grow in that begins with the focus letter


Dear Lord - Help me to hear your voice today, all day, and grant me the strength to obey.

My husband made it through surgery and is recovering. They removed the lower right lobe of his liver which had confirmed cancer and, unfortunately, also found another tumor on the left side. This was destroyed by laser. There are still two small unknown masses in the upper right lobe as well. As a result of this, more chemotherapy is recommended. We were sad about the news but are faithful yet. Thank you for all your prayers and support.



Psalms 22



As I sat at my computer, after a long day at the hospital and after receiving the bad news about the spread of the cancer, I felt a bit numb. On opening the Bible to review the psalm for this post, I had to smile. How fitting for this to be the psalm today. The opening words spoke to me.



"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent." (vs. 1-2)



How I have felt this the past year. At every turn, we have received bad news. My husband was diagnosed with cancer in February but we were confident that it would be contained in the colon. After all, he was only 49. My mother had had colon cancer at 61 and hers had been contained; it had not spread although it was about the same size of a tumor. We went into surgery confident. The surgeon told us after the surgery that it did appear to be contained within the colon, but of course, he could not know for sure until the lab work. How shocked we were to receive the call about a week later to find out that it was not contained and that it was in the lymph nodes.



"My God, my God..." I thought.



"Well, at least it was only in two of the 30 lymph nodes they looked at," I said to my mother-in-law who was devastated by the news. Surely it hadn't spread very far. There was that spot on his liver that the doctors had noted before his original surgery. But they had not been worried about it. The doctor had felt that it was probably not cancer. I was confident my husband would do his chemotherapy and be fine.


He went in for a liver test to confirm that the spot was just a benign occurrence, a hemangioma, and we waited, not worried. The results came back. A biopsy was needed. The tumor was not a hemangioma. I remember receiving the call. It was a beautiful day and I was playing Candyland with my daughters. The sun streamed in from the window, creating a peaceful, happy glow in the room. We were laughing.

My husband was out running an errand when the phone call came in. "Mrs. Jacobs, the tumor is cancerous," the doctor said over the phone.


Everything stopped and again in my mind, "my God, my God..."




Six rounds of chemo; so difficult. The embolism to block off the cancerous part of his liver. The surgery prep, all in the hopes that this would soon will be over; that life would soon return to normal. Then yesterday, the surgery, to remove the right lobe of his liver; so that he would be cancer free. At pre-op, the doctor mentioned that if they find something in the left lobe, they would burn it with a laser. I paused.


"But there isn't supposed to be anything in the left lobe," I said.


"Well sometimes it is hidden from the MRI. We are going to check everything out. We will take good care of him."


"Okay," I said, thinking with less confidence now that there would be nothing in the left liver. This warning of his was all precautionary. The surgery was going to be the end of this. Six weeks recovery and then life would go on. It would be this way. I had decided.




At 12 noon, the doctor came out and I approached, eager to hear the good news. "We removed the right lobe, but there was a half an inch tumor deep in the left lobe as well."


"What?"


"The left lobe, a tumor. We destroyed it with the laser but there are still small unknown spots visible on the ultrasound as well. They are too small to know what they are. We recommend more chemotherapy."

"More?" I said sadly.

"Yes, more. Cancer is like a dandelion which spreads its seeds when blown. We don't know, can't know now. Everything else in the abdomen looks clear but the chemo - it is necessary." The doctor smiled at me in a serious, sad way. My heart sank. The chemo... the walking death. It is difficult to explain life during chemo. Lets just say, it is hard.



"My God, my God..." again I begin to think. Why? Why, at every turn, has the road to quick recovery been blocked? What is it we must learn, my husband and I?



And then I read on in Psalms 22, the psalm that goes on to prophecy Jesus' suffering on the cross.



"Yet You are enthroned as the Holy One; You are the praise of Israel. In You our fathers put their trust; they trusted and You delivered them. They cried to You and were saved; in You they trusted and were not disappointed" (vs. 4-5)



It is painful. This is painful. It is not what I wanted. But it is what God has given me. He has given me this, and He has given me Himself to fall back on. I am not alone. I am a part of His plan. This morning, in the calm of the cool, early morning air blowing in through the window, I remember God. I remember to give thanks. I am thankful my husband is still alive. I am thankful that they removed or killed all known cancer in his body. I am thankful he is as alert and well as he is after surgery. I am thankful for the 12 years and the three daughters that I have had with him. I am thankful for all the ways we have grown to be better people through all of this. I am thankful for all the ways that we will grow before this is over.

God has given me the assurance that He will be with me through these difficult times. He will never leave me or forsake me (Joshua 31:6). He has given me a Bible full of good promises, all of which have been given to me so that I will have peace. As He says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)"

He will deliver me. He will not disappoint me in the end. In the short term, I may have sorrow. I do have sorrow. But God is not in this for the short term. He is the God of eternity. In the light of eternity, I am not let down. Things may not happen as I have planned. It hasn't happened as I had planned, but I have been delivered so far. My husband has also been delivered so far. He is still here. We are still living in faith, and we are better people for all of this.

God is still with me, just as He was with Jesus as He went to the cross; surely not what Jesus had wanted but it was what needed to happen. Jesus suffered immensely, more than any of us ever will, and yet He returned to God and His sovereignty. I must remember His words at Gethsemane, " Not my will, but Yours be done." At times, we may be momentarily disappointed, but in the long run we are never. In the long term, the victory is always ours. In Christ we have the victory. God did not forget Jesus. He did not disappoint Him. There were three dark days and then Jesus arose and brought salvation to all of us. In the same way, God will not forget me either.



"You who fear the Lord, praise him!...For He has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; He has not hidden His face from him but has listened to his cry for help." (vs. 23-24)



There is a reason for all of this. I am not forgotten and I will praise Him yet.



QFT



1. When have you felt forsaken? Why?



2. What has God given you to deal with presently in your life? How are you dealing with it? Are you turning to God, or away from Him because of it?



3. When life does not go as you planned, how do you react? How can you react in a more trusting manner?



4. What reasons can you see behind some of the greatest crises that have occurred in your life?

Background Information

I thought I would tell you a little about my life right now before I start the devotionals so that if I talk about something personal, it will make a little more sense. First of all, I have been married for 12 years this December. We have three children, ages 10,7, and 5. My husband goes to a different church than I do although we both attended the Los Angeles International Church of Christ when we got married. I am grateful that he has found a church to attend and that he has continued to work on his relationship with God all of these years. His faith has helped him tremendously as he was diagnosed with colon cancer in February of this year. He had surgery that month and we were expecting that to be the end of the problem but unfortunately we found out the cancer had spread and was found in his lymph nodes. To make matters worse, what the doctors thought was a benign tumor in his liver also turned out to be cancer. He underwent six rounds of chemotherapy and a liver embolism in preparation for surgery coming up on Sept 21st to remove the cancerous part of the liver. We are once again hoping that this surgery will rid him of the cancer.

Since my husband has been battling cancer, he has not been able to work since February and so finances have been difficult. I also did not get work this summer due to budget cutbacks at the school district that I work for. This left us with no income for August and September. This has been quite an adventure but God has provided so far. We got through August and are now waiting on how He will provide for us this next month.

As far as other health concerns, my youngest daughter suddenly developed a tic two weeks ago. She has had chronic asthma and I had her on several medications which I stopped when the tic developed. The neurologist said that her EEG was normal so at least that is good. The doctor thought that perhaps she would outgrow it. My parents have had their health struggles as well. My father is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's and my mother just recently broke a vertebrae in her back due to Osteoporosis. She also has Diabetes and perhaps also has a recurrence of cancer. We are hoping the latter is not true. She had colon cancer about 18 years ago and has been cancer free since then.

My schedule is quite intense when I am working. I live in Simi Valley and teach school in Montebello. This is about an hour drive each way. My goal each day is to get up at 4 am so that I can have a quiet time from 4 to 5. After that I get lunches packed, etc. so that I can be on the road by 6:15 am to get to work by 7:30 am. This year I will be taking my oldest and youngest daughters out to Montebello for school. My middle daughter will go to school in Simi Valley. I work all day and then pick up my girls and drive another hour to hour and a half back home. Once home, I deal with the usual home activities such as checking homework, making dinner, and cleaning up. I try to get the kids in bed by 8 pm bit this is one of my biggest struggles as I am so exhausted by this time. I do a little more work and then try to get to bed by 10 pm but usually I fail. Sometime in all of this, I have to grade papers and plan for my classes (I teach science to 210 7th graders).

I am trying to be involved with church as much as possible as I know that this is essential. My relationship with God is so important to me and I have been a part of the Churches of Christ since 1983. Lately, however, I have been having difficulties getting to mid weeks and Bible Talks. I am always late to the church services as well which makes me sad. At times, I struggle with the things that everyone does such as marriage and parenting. I am also not very good at maintaining my friendships. I am trying to change all of these things and become an asset to my ministry, as the church, and the people I know there are very dear to me.

So this is my life and where I am coming from. I am hoping that by doing this endeavour I will be able to contribute to everyone's lives and give back some of what I have received all of these years.